Sunday, 15 February 2009

Sundays are always followed by Mondays...

Morning ladies, I was in a slightly better mood when I woke up this morning, but only slightly.  I actually slept for ages!  Only getting up at one!  Must have been tired.  Oh well, so I had better quit trying to stall and address the gross-ness that was yesterday's food!  Oh god...

So, Lunch for mother's birthday was covered (about 280 cals from olives and a chicken salad - of which I only ate half) and I only drank diet coke and water all day which is 0 cals.  Then L demanded I be here valentine as the Boy was working and she is single, and as previously discussed I went to the Japanese noodle bar close to my apartment.  I worked out the meal was probably somewhere in the region of 500 cals (gross) and then we went for cocktails which were probably about another 400 cals.  So for the day about 1200 cals.  I did honestly think about purging, but I didn't because a) I hate it, and b) in all honesty I am pretty terrible at it.  I think my body hates doing it so much it struggles against and it ends up being a bit of an ordeal.  I tried to rationalise it by telling myself, for eating out twice in one day it is not the worst it could have been by about 15000 cals, and it was valentines.  And tomorrow (today) is a new day and up to me.  So then i went to bed.

Today has been a usual boring Sunday.  There is something so depressig about Sundays, as they are always followed by a monday (in case you did not realise).  Anyway today I have done a few things, i walked into and around town and 'mooched' in shops looking at all the beautiful skirts I desperately want but refuse to wear until I am thin.  I did buy a few basic pieces from Hennes (H&M) and yes, I finally invested in my very own pair of electronic scales.  I know it must seem weird for someone with an ED to not own scales, but I have legitimate excuses.  When I first developed my ED, I was still living at home and my parents had some.  Also scales can very often be detrimental to me as I suddenly start over weighing myself and do it way too often, so that the decrease is aways minimal (seriously how much did I think i could lose in 8 hours?!) and then I get all depressed and then angry and it could lead to binging.  I know that sounds like an over reaction but there you go.  I like things to be done straight away, and get frustrated that my weight loss is not as willing to be instantaneous!  Oh and I bought some ankle weights, some I can wear them all day under my trousers to burn a few more cals.  They are not heavy ones, only 1 kg each so I will not build muscle!  It was just a though I had and it seems to make sense.

So, onto SBC '09 goals.  I am not going to post my weight up here yet, I am still ashamed of myself for getting to the weight I am, and it embarrasses me.  So I am doing my weigh in's on a 'lbs lost' scale.  My weight goal is to lose ten lbs (some people may say that is alot, but I need something a bit extreme or I will go nuts for the first two weeks, reach my goal and then coast the last two, which is counter productive).  So on each weight in I will let you know how many lbs I have lost, instead of what my weight is.  Make sense?  My personal goal is to go to the gym at least 3 times a week (which would be 3 times a week more than I do now).  So there you go.

oh and today's consumption has been minimal.  Some diet coke, mineral water, and I will have some turkey for protein later, and I have an organic plum tomato soup that has only 150 cals.  So hopefully I can claw back a little from yesterday.  And water fast tomorrow!  I am not going to lie for me it will be water and diet coke fast, as I need some flavour.  Hope people do not think it is cheating, I just know I will break if it is only H2O!

Okie ladies, logging off for a while, I hope everyone is staying strong.

Much love,

ella xx

1 comment:

  1. Your day yesterday wasn't bad at all! Don't beat yourself up too much.

    Congrats on sleeping in! I'm certainly jealous.