Friday, 13 February 2009

F stands for Fail...

I think anyone who reads this blog should get used to the word fail.  i tend to sabotage myself in all aspects of my life, and it would seem my journey back to ana and back to thin is no exception.  So at 4 am this morning i woke up and made myself 2 and a half of those healthy living lean turkey steaks.  okay okay, so i know they are only 100 cals each, so 250 in total.  and i know turkey is a superfood with some amazing properties, and apparently the amino acids in it even help you sleep.  My annoyance is not about the calories.  for the whole day i probably hit just under 300 cals.  it was more the fact that i told myself no, but in the end i did it anyway.  i even had the check to justify it to myself by saying "I said tomorrow would be a food day and only fat free yoghurt and turkey, and it is tomorrow".

I suppose i should be grateful that it did not turn into a binge and i actually went back to bed to sleep more.  oh joy.

on a different not i need to go to town today and do all my errands i have been putting off in favour of staying in my sweats at home.  i can not be bothered.

right well this was really a very nothing-y entry.  it is just i have resolved to be absolutely honest on here, or else what is the point.  and if i were to lie i would deserve no one's support on here at all.

thank you again ladies,

ella xx


  1. Yes, your day could have DEFINITELY been worse. 250 calories isn't a binge-- it's pretty much half a meal!

    But I COMPLETELY understand your feelings of disappointment. I am sending you hugs from America.

  2. OH! And thank you for being so nice. I really appreciate it.