Panic Subsiding...

Okay, so I apologise for my rant a few minutes ago. I also apologise for swearing. But we all have limits to our civility. So I have stopped shaking, and freaking out. Well almost. I managed to stave off a panic attack. What an achievement. Well not really, but I was the cause of my own panic, so not quite as impressive as it should be. Maybe that was the only reason I could stop it. I just needed to purge, and get it out of my body.

So, I back in my office again. My day was going really well. I had everything planned out, and then she gave me that food. I should have thrown it at her. But then again, that is not very polite is it?

So, an action plan must be developed. My total for today is just shy of 300 cals. (I am pretty sure that in the few minutes that food was inside me I did not absorb the cals).

So it was 250 cals from before, and a fat free yoghurt at 54 cals. So that is it for today. I have my ankle weights on and will be walking up and down flights of stairs most of the evening in an attempt to work some of the cals off. No more food all day. Only diet coke and mineral water.

Tomorrow is going to be liquid fast, just like yesterday.

I have the shakes again... one minute please...

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Okay I am back.

Guess I will write later when I am not so preoccupied with mentally beating myself up.

much love,

Ella xx